BY SOFO ARCHON
The number of people on earth who are miserable is rapidly increasing. However, there are a few exceptional ones who have not yet fallen victims to this modern epidemic, and are living joyfully and at peace, radiating love and happiness.
The guide below is aimed at helping those individuals to live a completely different life — a life filled with greed, hatred, futility, regrets, suffering… in short, a miserable life. If you are one of them, then it will certainly come in handy.
12 Ways to Become the Most
Miserable Person in the World
1. Treat money as the goal
Perhaps the best way to fill your life with misery is to do everything you can in order to acquire a big amount of money, and make this your sole goal in life. Instead of spending your time building healthy, loving relationships with your fellow human beings, and pursue your interests, doing what you truly love doing, be sure to waste your life working like a slave to maximize your bank balance, and, of course, keep in mind to spend as less of your money as possible in ways that contribute to other people’s well-being, so that you can take it with you in the afterlife!
2. Live according to others’ expectations
Society expects a lot from you, and if you don’t fulfill its expectations, you will be abandoned by those around you — that’s the story most people have been conditioned to believe since early childhood. And although they’ve conformed to society’s expectations, they feel anxious and sad. In order to become just like them, make sure to fit into the mold society has provided you with — follow rules, obey to authority, and do anything to keep others them satisfied, while at the same time you make yourself miserable!
3. Hide your true self
People derive happiness mainly from intimate relationships. But since you want to become miserable, pretend that you are someone else, and always be careful not to take your social mask off, lest you reveal your true face to the world, out of fear that people might get to know the real you and run the risk of being judged by them. I assure you that being a dishonest hypocrite will do wonders to keep you in misery for longer than you could ever imagine!
4. Blame everybody else
To become an even more miserable person, here’s a powerful tip: Don’t ever take responsibility for your actions. Instead, place all responsibility on others, and criticize them for their wrongdoings, without ever accepting the fact that you’re also a flawed person with his or her own imperfections. This way, you wont able to realize your own wrongdoings and learn from them, as well as to take responsibility for your own actions, which is a sure-fire way to feel stuck and helpless for your entire life!
5. Let others think for you
Why think for yourself when others can do the thinking for you? Thinking is tiring anyway, and who wants to waste time and effort contemplating things like how to overcome life’s problems and find peace, joy and freedom? Don’t tire yourself — just let others do the dirty job for you! That’s why most teachers, priests, journalists and politicians are out there anyway: To think for you. So listen to them, believe in everything they say and never question or doubt what you’ve been told by them. Wear your blindfold and relax, knowing that the light of truth wont reach your sensitive eyes!
6. Compare yourself to others
Each and every person is a uniquely special individual, but the most miserable people in the world think that they are not good enough as they are. Out of their insecurity, they’re constantly comparing themselves to those around them, as well as trying their best to imitate those they feel inferior to, so they can feel better about themselves. Yet, by doing so they find themselves even more immersed in misery. If you truly aspire to become miserable, remember to focus all your attention on comparing yourself to others, and never make the mistake of embracing yourself with your flaws and imperfections.
7. Don’t care about others
Love, peace, and contentment come from giving, from sharing what you have with others. But why give to others if you want to be miserable? Stop giving! Whatever you possess, never share it with others. Keep things to yourself! In addition, don’t try to help others in any way — just be focused on your own personal gain. And, of course, compete with others whenever possible, and exploit those you can, by using them as stepping stones to achieve your own success — your success to becoming miserable!
8. Eat crappy food
It’s an undeniable fact: The healthier your body is, the happier you’ll be. On the contrary, the more unhealthy it is, the more miserable you’ll be. And, since you are interested in becoming miserable, what’s one of the best ways to be unhealthy? Eating crappy food — that is, food that isn’t rich in nutrients and is causing disease. So feed your physical organism regularly with toxic food and reap the amazing health disadvantages of it!
9. Spend your life indoors
Scientific research has proven the healing benefits of time in nature: Just spending a few hours every day in the company in natural surroundings can help boost your happiness and overall well-being. But you don’t want this! To be miserable, you shouldn’t step out of your house. Instead, stay confined within four walls as much as you can, surfing aimlessly on the internet or mindlessly watching your favorite TV soaps or shows, and you’ll soon feel that you’ve mastered the Great Art of Being Miserable!
10. See play as a waste of time
Time is money, and play is meaningless since it doesn’t bring you any money, right? Think of when you were a child: You found utter joy in playing games and laughing with your friends. But now as an adult, you should stop behaving like a child. Stop being playful and enjoying yourself! Instead, do only what brings you anxiety and stress, and I assure you that your misery levels will see a dramatic boost in no time!
11. Focus on the future
They say that life is all about the journey and that the destination isn’t that important. Although this is certainly true for those who are seeking to experience life to its fullest, you shouldn’t believe that saying, if you truly want to become miserable. On the contrary, be sure to think only of your goals, without enjoying the process of achieving them — focus solely on that future end you want to attain, and this will for sure prevent you from savoring all the beautiful moments life brings along your way.
12. Don’t try to change your negative circumstances
Life can at times be immensely harsh, yet it’s in our hands to make it better. But since you want to be miserable, why spend your precious time and energy trying to improve the quality of your life? You don’t want this! Instead, just passively accept life as it is, no matter how much suffering you’re going through. By doing so, you’ll feel that you have absolutely no control over your life, and soon come to experience so much misery you wont even believe it!
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